A priest priced or valued – on the priestly source of dignity

„Nowadays people know the price of everything and the value of nothing” / Oscar Wilde/ The trouble begins when I price my own worth by the way others see me...

A priest priced or valued – on the priestly source of dignity

The trouble begins when I price my own worth by the way others see me: I wait for feedback after catechesis, I watch the reactions of the faithful during a homily, I check the number of likes on Facebook. I then run the risk of storing up grievances and nursing a feeling of hostility towards those who have treated me badly, or towards those who, as I see it, have failed to show me respect. And so the weeds of mutual dislike slowly poison the wheat of brotherly bonds.

In looking at my priesthood and at myself I must therefore turn away from the temptation to put a price on my life, because giving in to it will deprive me of my bonds with others and in the end will set up a wall of isolation. Yes, if I give in to such thinking, I shall soon feel the consequences: if my catechesis goes well, it means I am good, but if my sermon does not – I am bad; or if the parish priest refuses me something, it means he is bad, but if a brother priest notices the effort I put into preparing the parish newsletter – he is good.

The remedy turns out to be looking at myself with the eyes of faith, that is, as God looks at me. And so we come to the role of spirituality – without it I do not see God, only myself and other people. When the motive for being faithful to spiritual practices is the desire to keep the image of God constantly before my eyes, then I remain in the world of values. God belongs to the world of values which he himself created, and I shall not find him in the world of my price lists. It is I who must go to him, for there is no point in inventing a god cut to my own measure.

The practice of the passing years of priestly life shows that all sorts of images move before my eyes – true ones and false ones. The false ones would stand no chance if my image of God were pure, and yet they keep attacking me because of a flaw of mine: my inclination to illusion.

What is the remedy for this? The late Fr Bronisław Mokrzycki often spoke of it: „God is not a God of imaginings, but of events.” Yes, the hope for keeping my priestly sobriety about images is that I shall not look for God in my own imaginings, but shall find him in the small and great events of my life. Then I shall discover my worth anew and shall not have to price myself on the stock exchange of catechists, preachers and confessors.

Fr Jacek Nawrot