A reflection for Holy Thursday

Holy Thursday is a day of remembrance for all those men in black cassocks, for us – reach back in memory to times gone by, perhaps to your First Communion, to secondary school, to student debates, to parish priests and curates, perhaps to friends from the school bench, to brothers…

Holy Thursday is also the institution of the sacrament of the Eucharist, whose celebration is inseparably bound up with the priesthood.

Today is also an important day for us priests. For it was precisely today, at that same Last Supper, that Jesus instituted the sacrament of the priesthood. “Do this in remembrance of me”.

It is no coincidence that Jesus instituted the Eucharist and the priesthood at the same moment. One may safely say that the priesthood was instituted above all for the Eucharist. Where there is no priest, there is no Eucharist – there is neither Holy Mass nor the Blessed Sacrament. In these matters, as in no others, no one can take the place of a priest. And people living in countries where priests are lacking find this out, sometimes very painfully. The priesthood is a gift, just as the Eucharist is. It is God's gift to man.
And, like the Eucharist, it is a mystery. It is a mystery, and must probably remain one, why God calls precisely these men and not others to a particular closeness with himself. A mystery too is the great love and trust of God, who has placed such great and holy things into the hands of priests – men who are weak and sinful, like everyone else. And how do people see a priest today?

I think – though this is only my personal opinion – it is a good thing that people talk about priests, about us. It would be bad if they said nothing. And the fact that they do talk shows that priests matter to people.

Lord Jesus of the Upper Room, today I want to confess to you that it is not easy to be your priest today:

– it is hard to be a priest when you have the feeling that the wind is always blowing in your face
– it is hard to be a priest when you want to do good, to serve, to help, and there are those who say that priests do it all only for themselves, for their own comfort…

– it is hard to be a priest when many would like me to change your Gospel

– it is hard to be a priest when the young and the old tell me that listening about you is boring!

– it is hard to be a priest when they say that priests do nothing, while I often have no time even for myself, and there are those who have even lost their health for it, and all they met with
was ingratitude

– it is hard when you want to be a friend and they treat you like an enemy

– it is hard when they attack your Church and your priesthood and speak of its sins while forgetting their own

– it is hard to be a priest when they smile at me while their hearts are full of dislike

– it is hard to listen to the sins of others and to be aware of my own

– it is hard to say “This Is My Body” when my own is so weak, though the spirit is willing

My dear one – Christ will say – but did I ever tell you that it would be easy, straightforward and peaceful? Did I not rather tell you: “Beware of men; for they will deliver you up to councils, and flog you in their synagogues, and you will be dragged before governors and kings for my sake, to bear testimony before them and the Gentiles. And you will be hated by all for my name's sake. But he who endures to the end will be saved.”

If they persecuted me, they will persecute you too.

And did my teaching please everyone? Was I not a reproach to the conscience of the Pharisees? Did they not look for a chance to catch me out in my words, to defame me, to undermine my authority, and in the end did they not even make use of lies in order to destroy me?

Have you never read the Letter to the Hebrews, in which I say: “For every high priest chosen from among men is appointed to act on behalf of men in relation to God, to offer gifts and sacrifices for sins. He can deal gently with the ignorant and wayward, since he himself is beset with weakness. Because of this he is bound to offer sacrifice for his own sins as well as for those of the people.” Do you understand! If you were perfect, you could not SUFFER WITH the people to whom I send you. You would not be able to walk beside them, and pride might even close the way to heaven for you. And besides, I know you better than you know yourself!

Yes, Lord, I feel foolish now that on this special day, on Holy Thursday, I have begun with complaining, for I am after all happy that you chose me:

– that at times I am so close to you that I am you, in your own person

– I am happy when I go with you to the sick and see their joy, their emotion and sometimes even their tears

– I am happy that I am often a sign of contradiction in the world

– I am happy that sometimes I manage to console someone, to wipe away tears, to awaken hope

– I am happy that there are so many who pray for me, for health, for strength, for perseverance

Thank you, Lord, that you give me the desire for holiness, love and hope, that you let me celebrate your sacraments and belong to you alone. Lord, even though I do not fully understand you, on this special evening I want to say MY YES to you once again. And to repeat after the poet, the late Fr Jan Twardowski:

I am afraid of my own priesthood,
I stand in dread of my own priesthood
and before the priesthood I fall into the dust
and before the priesthood I kneel

Every priest is only a man, weak and sinful – let us remember that; he is like everyone else and, like everyone else, he needs prayer. Do you pray for priests: for strength, for blessing, for their holiness, for perseverance in the grace of the priestly vocation? Or can you only criticise and set them demands you could not meet yourself?

Fr Marcin